intoxicated thoughts

I’m blogging for the first time while I’m drunk. How do I feel?

Not bad….I suppose. But not good. Like a contempt kind of melancholy. I just know I could be doing more. That’s always it.

It sound so easy, but when you prioritize mental wellbeing like I do, the other stuff doesn’t seem as important. A boy is asking me to come to his room right now to drink champagne. Is that a good decision? I”m not sure but I’m going to do it anyways.

I know it’s not smart, but I just want to be with someone that listens to me, even if they’re just pretending. I know this isn’t the healthy thing to do.

Raindrops keep falling on my keyboard. I’m sitting outside. The air is fresh and crisp. I’m lighting another cigarette. Why? Maybe I want the nicotine to rush through my veins, or maybe I just want to distract myself from everything that”s nagging my brain. I don’t know anymore. A girl just walked past me that lives on my hall. She didn’t say hi. I think the fact that I’m smoking cigarettes scared her away…..I”ve created a negative stigma for myself.

I’m not surprised.

I think I’d judge me too.

I’m supposed to be more awake right now…..he should be texting me any minute to come drink champagne with him. But I’m already drunk, and deep in my thoughts. FUPO (the Furman police) just pulled up and left. I guess they don’t really enforce the 20ft. rule anymore.

 

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