The worst feeling is when you think you have it all together, but it’s actually falling apart. Was anything really together in the first place? Maybe I’ve been living in my own bubble, too naive to see reality for what it is.
This is a segment I like to call: Irrational Thoughts of the Day
All of your friends, all of your motivation, and all of your confidence was short term, because that’s how you function. Did you really expect this happy streak to continue forever? You are foolish.
Your friends may be infatuated with your spontaneous and reckless nature at first, but after a while they see through all of that. They know that you’re not free, but trapped. You couldn’t change your ways if you wanted to. You’re an absolute mess and they don’t want to feel responsible for cleaning you up.
Okay, so you’ve been running every day and eating healthy. So what? You’ve done the same thing in the past. You know how this cycle will go: You’ll feel healthy and fit, you’ll start to look a little better, and then you’ll stop because you feel that you’ve done “good enough” and just let yourself go all over again. You’re too easy on yourself.
And this confidence that you have? It’s a mirage and you know it. Sure, you can say hi to as many people as you want. But you better be satisfied living a life filled with distant acquaintances, because the moment those people want to get to know you a little better you’re going to have to shut them out. I mean, you wouldn’t want them to see how insecure you really are, would you?
These thoughts have the potential to dictate your life. You have to make the conscious decision to take that power away. They’re only thoughts, nothing else. They’re not some secret reality that you’ve been hiding from yourself. Think of your mind as a rebellious teenager: It’s going to test the waters and see how much it can get away with. Like a parent, you can’t take any crap from it (that just encourages it). In fact, LAUGH at how ridiculous these thoughts sound. When you actually take the time to write them out and read over them (like I’ve done), it really opens your eyes to how irrational you’re being.
Breath in, breath out, and stay in control.